Today is study day. The last thing I should be doing right now is writing. The challenging, prestigious, consuming subject of chemistry is calling my name, and here I am, ignoring it for a whole hour. I am currently parked on a bench directly outside the doors of the library on the most perfect grounds for studying, this green lawn shaded perfectly with a great oak tree. I sit here and ponder my escape from living the "dorm life" but at the same time wanting to sit here forever. I feel like I have been going to this school my entire life, and at the same time I feel like I just moved in last week.
I look back and see the countless works of the Father cradling me in times of stress and the beauty in growing and flourishing with Him in fellowship and relationship. These last five weeks of not going home and patiently waiting for the end have come to me as a shock by inviting me in with welcoming arms. Making "glory" friends, attending a godly church, and making an A on a chemistry test are some of the few blessings that have been lavished in these past weeks. Sadly, this is the end of an adventurous freshman year as a college student, but the best is yet to come. Summer holds many promises that I'm excited to unwrap, and this coming fall will prayerfully express the glory of God in my life as I battle three science classes and a too-good-to-be-true fishing class. Yes, a fishing class is what I'm most ready for. These last few days as a freshman will be stressful and wonderful. Having a hope of moving out of that tiny room and seeing my family and friends back home is enough to push me to last. Just as this tree I am relaxing under shields me from the sun, spoils me with shade and a cool breeze while at the same time allowing me to witness the beauty of all the sun rays around me, the Father spreads the length of His arms over me blessing me in ways that no one can comprehend. Whatever awaits me this summer, fall, and the coming summers I cannot tell, but resting and trusting in the daily provision and goods of God will be what lasts. Therefore, witnessing the promise of today is my heart's only concern.
Matthew 6:25-34 says, Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Yesterday I was worrying about today...what am I going to study tomorrow? What will I eat for lunch? Will I succeed in studying? What if I don't? What if I don't study at all? What will happen to my grades?
Many of my friends from home are seniors, wondering how their lives will play out, whether staying at the community college or going off to a state school or private college. I have been preaching to these seniors saying "Don't worry. Your life will play out for the Kingdom. God has big plans for you!" While all along needing to preach this to myself daily. Whether a middle schooler, a high school graduating senior, a college student, or adult the Father is always among you, waiting expectantly for you and constantly loving. Whether or not a person accepts this Love, it will never waiver or be overcome. That in itself is something to rest in for the rest of your life, no matter what the enemy attempts to cram into your mind or heart. That hope is eternal and never ending.
As this years comes to a close, I am excited, full, and ready for more. This end of the beginning is, after all, the beginning of something great.
